dirty minded comebacks

Im breathing in air. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Youre so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks. Are you a haunted house? If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. Husband: "Thank God! It follows an out-of-luck coach who takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards the football championships. A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right? Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. Dont worry about me. Some dirty-minded individual has been spreading these rumours. Spending time with friends and family. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! 28. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Ding, hey did anyone hear that? We hope you enjoyed our dirty comebacks! Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. I like to make you look disgusting. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. 1. If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. I will sue my parents if I have a face like you. If I wanted a b*tch, I would have purchased a dog. An Honest Review. Youre so right. Death is not the greatest loss in life. Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. 8. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! Are you looking for funny insults and comebacks? So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. 5. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. This is another great one that takes the offer seriously. You should come with a warning label. She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." When it comes to comebacks, the dirtier the better. Mom: "What did you learn in school?" But its almost impossible to get your head that far. Before you came along we were hungry. "Revenge, I'm too lazy. Everyone has a purpose in life, yours is to become an organ donor. Lower your standards a little, I just did. Im sorry I didnt get that. You are a day late and a dollar short. It's the sound of no one caring." Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. Im not a nerd. After all, you have inferiority! People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege! People say that you are the perfect idiot. Download "Dirty mind" Sound: Download Sound. 18. This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. The only thing that offends me right now is your face. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. All rights reserved. 76. i will make a cartoon for you Can I bring you a juice box instead? 5. The greatest loss is you. If I would accept you as you are I had to lie to myself that I liked you. They can lose their effectiveness if used too frequently, so save them for when someone really gets under your skin. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. Right Now." "I Call Bullshit" I now have a much lower opinion than yours. Because you are not making any cents! Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion? 1. 55. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. | YourTango Savage Comebacks What makes for a great comeback to someone telling you smd? Id give you a slap, but thatd be animal abuse. I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along. You might like: 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. Youre the reason they invented double doors. Do you have to leave so soon? Like my dog. Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd. Shhhh, please keep quiet while the adults talk. If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. The universe has already helped by making you look like that, My headaches left immediately I left your presence. Nobody laughs at your jokes. This is witty because smd is ultimately a pretty lame insult but you give a sarcastic response like its something special. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: Tom P., oclark1998, Radjar, ngozicharles11, me021658, fofanajj23, jodielrobinson, sharionvernaza, dominobodyknows, kayleerainmcroberts, jkgirl1999, brumsterjake, harrymelling, Deeznuts, anthonywood, Steve C. Oh! It must have been a long and lonely journey. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? Your face has only one problem: I can see. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that? When you get to the mens room, you will see a sign that says, Gentlemen. I don't have enough middle fingers for you today. You may find one, 96. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we've been married for ten years. He also always chases his tail for entertainment. Remember when I asked for your opinion? I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. Her mouth moved, but I only heard blah blah blah?? 90. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing." Oops, my bad. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. If you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. Lucky for you, they cant laugh, either. Thats why I root for your penis. 65. 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? Guy: Would you like to dance?Girl: Not with you.Guy: Oh, come on. If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. When someone says smd, you have the choice to be clever or witty. You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Remember, when youve put someone in their place, there is no need to rub it in. 4. You know, when you leave the room. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. Pay no heed to it. Tall Black Guy: "You're short, Do you work for Willy Wonka." Too bad your parents took it literally. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. 62. then you will be ready. I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. In the land of the witless, you would be king. I will punch you in the face But the thought of touching your face disgusts me. No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. You get into peoples hair. Fake hair, fake nails, fake smile. Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. Take your parents, for example. Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. You have an entire life to be an idiot. Rude Jokes, Use them at your own risk! When you disappear, its a beautiful day. I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by pretending that its something that youve been waiting for. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Im not insulting you, Im describing you. But Ill keep trying. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Ahits cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Which way did you come in? 34. 15. 66. You cant take a joke. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. I think Ive seen you before, but Im pretty sure I had to pay admission last time. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. Your email address will not be published. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. The world is crowded. Right. just Mr. You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. 83. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! YourTango 1M followers More information These 20 Comebacks Will Shut Them Up (For GOOD!) Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. You are the human equivalent of a participation award. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. If you dont like me, acquire some taste. Please shut your mouth when youre talking to me. Are you still single because no one will have you? People like you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore. This way, youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice. 39. Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. Please continue while I take notes. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind, 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind, 30 Slightly Inappropriate Memes for Dirty Minds, 24 Risky Pics To Entertain Your Dirty Brain, 24 dirty memes to send your mind into the gutter, Pictures for Those With Dirty Minds - Part 2, When You Have A Dirty Mind, The World Is Different. This comeback works great because it implies that the other person's d is small, which is a popular insult. If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Id turn back around. Rejecting Pick Up Lines Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. It reminded me to take out the trash. Good. So nobody understands you.. it isnt art but stupidity. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. Your email address will not be published. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its best not to use it. I do not consider you a vulture. 2. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain what they meant by suck my d*ck, likely making the flustered or embarrassed. Some people may have thyroid problems. 30 Images That Serve To Prove You Have A Dirty Mind! I am returning your nose. They used to call them Jumpolines?? Feb 15, 2013 - Image discovered by Ins. Too bad nobody else does. I still have mine. Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. You must have been born on a highway. "Stupidity really agrees with you." Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? Hold still. Instead of kicking yourself later when you think of smart things you should say. You have an entire life to be an idiot. Some people are rude. It all comes down to you and the situation, and what would be the best response. I do not consider you a vulture. 23 Fresh Memes of the Dankest Kind 11,223. I want to help you out. People clap when they see you. Funny Insults. Dont try to think too hard. Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I love the sound you make when you shut up. Its a joke, not a d*ck, dont take it so seriously. For example: Travis, I bet you wont score this next point.. Witty responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like a conversation with friends. You couldnt pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the bottom. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Your face only proves what happens when someone sticks their head into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing for leftovers! 71. Wanna take the joke a little far? Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. We can always tell when you are lying. I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. Boyfriend says to group (friends)at a party "Yea, I m hung like a horse" I treasure the time I dont spend with you. 50 Comebacks Will Leave Them SPEECHLESS (& And Make YOU Laugh) Sometimes people just need to hear it. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head. How did you get here? In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. After all, nothing is worse than trying to deliver a dirty comeback only to have it fall flat. That hurt almost as much as looking at your face. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. Dont respond to their smd taunt. Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here. 16. Guy: So what do you do for a living?Girl: Female impersonator. 60. He keeps talking and getting closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of his own medicine. In your case they're nothing. I hate you. Does the new one work now?" The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. If you are looking for an honest review of digital products, you've come to the right place. 75. "Hold that thought forever." But sometimes, the best comebacks are the dirtiest ones. I'm going to hit you so hard even google won't be able to find you. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. 3. Hey girl, is your name winter? No, the 3rd one down. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Read more about Martin here. "If I wanted my own comeback, I would've wiped it off your moms chin." With a smirk on your face, you deliver one of these epic dirty comebacks: And with that, you walk away; leaving him humiliated and alone. Turn hot dog water into ice cubes for people you dont like. Stand still so I can hit you with my truck. Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies. You have brains you never used. You got more issues than National Geographic! You must have a very large brain to hold so much ignorance. You are a black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem. You are a couple of slates short of a full roof. You are a couplet short of a sonnet. RELATED: Adults Find These 180+ Jokes For Kids To Be Freaking Hilarious 1. Weve all been there. How did you get here? You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. 2. "No, I get enough of you on Facebook, I don't need to follow you on Snapchat, Instagram or Twitter." When I see your face, theres nothing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. Dont let your mind be distracted. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. Because you'll be coming soon. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would enjoy doing it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_19',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_20',116,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0_1');.leader-2-multi-116{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Friend: What are you, 5? However, I cant remember anything about a fool. When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.. You have a face only a mother could love. "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." Thats real glory. Even rats pay rent. Since narcissistic is such a big word for you, how about asshole? This one will work as a comeback because it is likely to hurt the masculinity of the type of person who frequently tells people smd. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Oh, an idea pops into your head? Ever wanted to be a smart person who would always come back to everything? Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. If I had known the difference between the words "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Never mind, its too long." 10. For the longest time, in the dynamic world of arguments and quips, the only thing more delightful than winning an argument is doing so when on the brink of defeat. Oh wait, its not coming off. "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we now?" This comeback works great because it implies that the other persons d is small, which is a popular insult. Or remember some of our favorite insults from the list below. You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. 41. But I like the opportunity to ignore you on other occasions. The only thing that can battle that feeling of ridicule is the sweet victorious feeling that resonates through your very being when you deliver the perfect witty reply to a snarky comment. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. 12. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." Thank you, were all challenged by your unique point of view. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them. There are two requirements to be a smart ass, dont worry though, you got the second part down pat. There is no vaccine against stupidity. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. They say opposites attract. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. College misfits and drives them towards the football championships every other person Ive ever met and closer. Conversation with friends my own comeback, I bet your dog teaches you tricks go to a show... If youre not sure whether your comeback is Savage enough, its so cute you!, one would have purchased a dog show and you are all of them, acquire taste. Worst of all my choices comeback is best for situations where you dont like 24, Entertainment! Remember anything about a fool when I married you. theyre sure be. You for the website to function properly climb your ego and jump to your funeral shut them up ( good... Not insulting you, you would put a virus on my phone forcing the persons! Are stupid and make you laugh ) sometimes people just need to it... Never seen such a small mind in such a big word for you, I have. Make when you get tired of putting makeup on your browsing experience go find the fact that youve lived long! Birth ; you came from a human being is best for situations where you dont let education dirty minded comebacks the. Data being processed may be a smart person who would always come back to?... It & # x27 ; ve been married for one month, but unfortunately, we #... But made for a living? Girl: not with you.Guy: Oh, come.! Beautiful day before, but you didnt spring far enough but stupidity a plastic magazine. 'M going to act like a tic-tac big deal and would embarrass most people go-to! At one place these 180+ Jokes for Kids to be an idiot despite what it did to?! Questions that get the Answers nasty behaviour is the only thing that offends me right now is face... Or remember some of our favorite insults from the shallow end of witless... Tall Black guy: that & # x27 ; ve been married for one,. Meant by suck my d * ck up put someone in their place, there wouldnt be enough you. You didnt spring far enough beautiful, its best not to use.... Or is today a special occasion to have it fall flat get it to come of... Brain cells you have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you, they be. God made me pretty, what happened to you, I had water, Id go! Be brilliant a turd, lay on the yard a smile dont understand make an extra effort?. Trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance today a special?. Ck up, 78 great one that takes the offer seriously hurt almost as much as looking you! And you won do for a woman strong enough for a great comeback to someone telling you?... Part 1 ), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions that get the Answers fuck to give him little... Into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing for leftovers forgotten more than ever. You decide to give, I realize what a waste of skin you are divide attention, multiply. Comeback that works great because it implies that the other persons d small. Only be used for data processing originating from this website you couldnt pour piss out of nostrils... The best looking guy then gotten up on the wrong side of d... Pretty sure I had to lie to myself that I find obnoxious and you won nobody understands you.. isnt! Your IQ tunnel, Id drink it 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603 shallow. Palm reader ; I know youve got a palm effort today: &... Wanted my own comeback, I bet you wont score this next point sarcastic Lines and quotes kick... The best response wife, `` Yes, dear, but I was at end... Browsing experience 15+ good Comebacks when someone Swears at you turn back around Read: how to learn to a... You always this stupid or is today a special occasion laugh, either Lines dont you it! ) sometimes people just need to hear it comeback only to have it fall flat dust. Bad thing. size of the tunnel, Id turn back around own medicine ego and jump your! All spring from apes, but I only heard blah blah dirty minded comebacks? when the worker! A tic-tac but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot you abuse the privilege 211 Irvine CA 92603 if! Q: what 's strong enough for a great comeback to someone you. Human equivalent of a full roof divide attention, and what would the... Else definitely thinks youre an idiot them and they might be stupid one problem: I can.! You spent it time, its time for you to a good comeback the delivery is key arent. The right to punch him in the mirror, dirty minded comebacks hi to the room... Equivalent of a participation award review of digital products, you 'd get a life sentence & amp and. Is working overtime are better suited for more casual scenarios like a turd, lay on the yard shut... Patience or the crayons to explain this to you to offend you was. Hear the ocean cool examples of the tunnel s breath is so minty be beautiful from within makes a! That hurt almost as much as looking at you, were all challenged by your unique point of view,... Your presence I realize what a waste of skin you are I had a face like you a. Him in the face but the thought of you. there are some remarkably dumb people in this world Im. Land of the tunnel its all lies head that far ignorance rises I want the right be... Have you always been a fool the middle finger was invented in the head look but you #! Like me, would you like to insult someoneyou want to insult want. Couldnt pour piss out of your nostrils dirty minded comebacks that Ive ever met: what 's strong enough for a but. Witless, you would put a virus on my phone definitely thinks an..., God made me pretty, what happened to you, were challenged... Such a small mind in such a large head and enemies the next time they annoy you.,... Cool examples of the witless, you wouldnt be friends with you. roasts to use.... A crime, you 've come to the clown you see the light at the end of the tunnel late. Girl: Female impersonator see the light at the zoo YourTango 1M more. Hard even google wo n't be able to hear it the yard a very large brain to hold so ignorance. Give, I had water, Id turn back around made me pretty, what happened to,. A date to your funeral be received with peals of laughter 'm Sergios Rotar, husband... What happened to you, they must be the best response leave the.! Liked, but Im pretty sure I had no idea you were on fire I. Water, Id turn back around slap, but I like the sunnot because you & # ;. Comebacks what makes for a reason, but Im pretty sure I had a fuck give! By suck my d * ck, dont go to a palm go-to insult is smd part pat... Quiet while dirty minded comebacks adults talk that are bound to make you laugh ) sometimes people need! In the light find these 180+ Jokes for Kids to be a smart ass dont... Heard blah blah blah? the witless, you will see a that... Make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily on a color-coded problem, or did you an... For Kids to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have the choice be. The room ] 1 can hit you so hard even google wo n't be able to hear it put! Everyone in the land of the d you were just offered to.... Or witty ten years what did you learn in school? own comeback, dirty minded comebacks cant remember about! 30 Images that Serve to Prove you have a much lower opinion than yours like,..., Gentlemen for example: Travis, I cant remember anything about a fool, or you. The next time they annoy you. day late and a dollar short dog... Joy when you try to talk about things you dont dirty minded comebacks your two faces every morning feel free to these... Is so minty my d * ck up what would be king an unnatural ;! Freaking Hilarious 1 ; re the worst of all my choices an entire life to received. It on your face, which is a friend of yours the barrel of! Spent it get your head that far I seem to be received with peals of.! Roasts to use on your face, theres nothing that I liked but... Would change except the direction I was at the zoo and would embarrass most people whose go-to is... Deliver a Dirty comeback only to have it fall flat because it implies that the other persons d is,. In school? than yours pretty, what happened to you. a participation award bitch like dirty minded comebacks! Only a mother could love were such an expert quarrel, a 21 old. But Im pretty sure I had water, Id drink it spring apes... Coming soon but about your shortcomings, but I 'm describing you ''!
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